June 3, 1999

CKL's HotSheet *

What Non-Aardvarks are Pondering This Week...

by Curtis C. Chen

01 Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace. Been there, done that, got the midi-chlorians.

02 stupid criminals. Some boneheads in Wisconsin stole Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace from a theater projection room, but returned it two days later. They hadn't actually seen the movie yet, and, well, Jar-Jar Binks.

03 computer security is the real issue at the core of this incident involving forged E-mail at Stanford-- but you'd never know it from this San Jose Mercury News reporter, who just doesn't have a fucking clue.

04 KOLD, a local TV station in Phoenix, Arizona, ran a totally fictitious and barely researched news story about an AOL chain mail hoax. Next week they'll discuss Y2K cosmetics. Fucking idiots.

05 AOL once again engages in frivolous and nonsensical litigation. So that's what their fee increases are paying for!

06 Purity Tests! If you haven't taken one recently, why not do it now?

07 The Curse of Slick Six: No space mission launched from this site has ever been successful. That's what you get for building on top of an ancient Indian burial ground. No, I'm not making this up!

08 Columbine revisited.

09 Memorial Day is a good time to remember (or, as I more often say, never forget).

10 HubbleConstant.com will give you the straight dope on all things astronomical, including why the eggheads now think the universe will keep expanding forever.

11 Trekkies will, sadly, die a quick death at the box office. Despite a wide theatrical release (thanks to Paramount Classics) and a glowing slashdot review, dropping this documentary into the summer of Star Wars was just a Bad Idea.

12 Battlestar Galactica: The Movie. Speaking of lost causes...

13 The Poop Moose may just be the perfect gift for that dad or grad on your list!

14 GFY stands for something naughty. Can you guess before following that hyperlink?




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