May 1?, 1999

CKL's HotSheet *

What Non-Aardvarks are Pondering This Week...

by Curtis C. Chen

01 USS Carl Vinson causes electromagnetic interference (EMI) in Australia. At least it isn't saturating the satellite uplink.

02 Racism is Bad. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Never forget. Never forget. NEVER FORGET. (Besides, the man who captured Enigma was British, not an ugly American.)

03 Columbine High School has become the touchstone for a new generation of debates on gun control, violence in the media, and parental responsibility. I'd just like to remind all the reactionaries out there that this is nothing new.

04 Y2K for women. No, it's not a new brand of cosmetics... it's a freakin' web site.

05 Jeffrey Kagan, analyst, provides us with another Good Quote / Bad Quote.

Good Quote:
"This is a very pivotal time in AT&T's history. It's sink or swim time."

Bad Quote:
"If Mike Armstrong resembles Star Trek's Captain Jean Luke [sic] Picard as a recent Fortune magazine profile alluded, then shareholders, customers and pundits like me only have one thing to say regarding all of AT&T's bold plans: 'Make it so Mike.'"

06 The keyboard chair is pretty wacky, but not as far-out as...

07 ...the thumbs-only keyboard, the latest brainchild of Stanford mad scientist Vaughn Pratt.

08 Family Guy, the latest abomination from the Fox network, has only survived this long because it's sandwiched between The Simpsons and The X-Files. Trust me-- it really sucks.

09 Graffiti may be hazardous to your health. I guess it's time for PalmPilot wrist-rests now.

10 Encryption export limits have been declared unconstitutional by a federal court. Take that, Luddites!

11 The FCC, in a fit of unadulterated irony, "mistakenly sent a dirty joke by e-mail to 6,000 reporters and government officials instead of a daily report on actions taken by the agency."

12 Obi-Wan Kenobi Briggs. A North Carolina woman has legally changed her name after a brief tussle with a court clerk. That Jedi Mind Trick sure comes in handy sometimes.

13 Star Wars, nothin' but Star Wars!...




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