- Predict the Oscar Winners and win a trip to Hollywood!

March 15, 1999

CKL's HotSheet *

What Non-Aardvarks are Pondering This Week...

by Curtis C. Chen

00 The Oscars will be awarded on Sunday, March 21. Check out the coverage at! (I wouldn't mind if you bought some movies, too.)

01 Y2K compliance. One less thing to worry about when the year 2000 hits: your electric cheese grater will still work.

02 Ask Satan. Has the impending millennium and fear of apocalypse got you down? Let the Lord of Darkness help you out.

03 PursuitWatch Network. Did you miss the O.J. Simpson freeway debacle? Sign up to be paged whenever there's a high-speed chase on TV! (Sorry, I only wish I was making this up.)

04 empeg: a Linux-based MP3 player for your car. Now you can take it with you.

05 The House of Alex van Es may be in the Netherlands, but it's connected to the Internet. So you can see who's recently rung the doorbell, made an incoming phone call, or used the toilet. No, dammit, I'm not making this up!

06 brain damage. Headline of the week: "Former Engineer Sues BT, Claims Phone Hurt Brain"

07 digital memorials. "The death care industry has had negative publicity for so long because it has a reputation for high markups on products and making money off people's grief ... We have a more consumer-driven, life-centered philosophy. We see ourselves as the David to the industry's Goliath. We're younger, faster and are bringing in people from outside the funeral industry."

08 sexbots? See what the geeks over at Slashdot are saying about the near-future possibility of intimate robotic companions. (Sure, I say, but can they make a sandwich?)

09 virtual floppies? Possibly the dumbest idea I've seen in years. If you have to ask why, please don't.

10 The Dialectizer. If you thought AltaVista Translation was cool, check out this nifty web tool which converts plain old web page text into colorful dialects! Hours of fun for the whole family!

11 Al Gore. He claims that he created the Internet. I never thought I'd be asking this, but are we sure he didn't inhale?

12 Aura, a new 34-square-foot modular "personal workstation" which provides a comfortable cage^H^H^H^Henvironment for the dedicated worker. Add wheels and plumbing, and you'll never have to leave the office.

13 The International Lyrics Server has been shut down by the recording industry and is still struggling to get back online. If you have some time to waste, you can sign the online petition.

14 HAL 9000. The homicidal computer is featured in a commercial for Apple computer. What's next? Norman Bates singing the praises of his new iMac (which even his technophobic mother can use)?

15 CGI (not WWW). You'll see completely computer generated people in the Final Fantasy movie next year. Which, I'm sure, will fuel George Lucas' megalomaniacal obsession with producing movies entirely in the "digital domain".




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