January 18, 1999

CKL's HotSheet *

What Non-Aardvarks are Pondering This Week...

by Curtis C. Chen

01 The Norm You can't escape the building tidal wave of Star Wars mania. It binds us, penetrates us, holds the universe together...

02 Bad Movie Reviews Bad movies, not bad reviews, brought to you by my fellow West High School alumnus, Gavin Wasserman.

03 Nuclear Blast Mapper Ever wonder how much damage would be caused by a thermonuclear device detonated near your home? PBS will tell you.

04 Furbies The popular interactive toys have been deemed a security risk and banned from NSA facilities. (They don't want another incident like that Tribble fiasco.)

05 encryption A sixteen-year-old British girl has invented an algorithm that's faster than RSA and just as secure. The fact that you don't know or care what I'm talking about saddens me.

06 Red Alert India won't use American encryption software because the U.S. only exports weak encryption algorithms. Sheesh, next thing you know, they won't want our hamburgers, either.

07 Multipath Movies Some people still don't get it. Look, if you can't show me a freakin' holodeck, I don't want to hear about your "interactive television" or "virtual reality" crap. I've got better things to do with my time.

08 Best Book Buys Finally, comparison shopping for books. So you'll never have to pay those damned writers and publishers their exorbitant prices for new paperbacks.

09 BeOS Get a fully functional demo CD for just $3.95. What have you got to lose but those unsightly Windows?

10 appliances Samsung has developed a microwave oven with Internet connectivity. An unreasonably astute CNET reporter notes that "It is unclear ... whether there are any safeguards in place to prevent slow Internet connections from resulting in burned food." At least she didn't mention Y2K.

11 Kate Mulgrew The intrepid Captain Janeway might be leaving Voyager... or not. Any more cutting-edge journalism like this, and I'm going to shoot someone.

12 shooting An armed woman on a rampage in a Utah office building was taken down by AT&T employees. I can see the TV movie now: "Yeah, I got your customer service right here, lady."

13 "You have mail." I'm sure AOL would like to forget that AT&T first introduced this phrase in the UNIX operating system, circa 1984.




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