January 11, 1999

CKL's HotSheet *

What Non-Aardvarks are Pondering This Week...

by Curtis C. Chen

01 commercials Did your favorite jingle make it onto Advertising Age's list of the 50 best shills?

02 OnTheGo " ... a revolutionary woman's stand-up urinary accessory invented by women for women. Made of FDA-approved polypropylene, OnTheGo is hygienic and environmentally sensitive. It comes in pastel green. "

03 www.ozenne.com Yet another consequence of the mp3 revolution: self-distributing garage bands. Be afraid.

04 widescreen When it comes to television, wider is better.

05 Joe Firmage The founder of USWeb resigns, saying that his belief in UFOs could damage the company's PR. Actually, he just has to clean house before the aliens show up in Y2K.

06 Bigfoot A new analysis of the famous film reveals what looks like a zipper on the creature's waist. I'm shocked.

07 The Rescuers Disney is recalling over three million copies of this videotape because the photographic image of a topless woman, which appears in two frames, could damage the company's reputation. So why aren't they recalling Lion King 2?

08 Y2K (again) The award for Stupidest Vendor Compliance Statement goes to: "The current release is year 2000 compliant, and the next release will be even more year 2000 compliant".

09 Episode I So, the madness begins. Here are some spoilers for those of you who can't wait until May 21. Of course, if you're a trufan...

10 Fanboys ...you'll break into Skywalker Ranch to see a rough cut of the movie before it's even released. (Don't worry, you're not too short to be a stormtrooper.)

11 Episodes VII, VIII, and IX They don't exist, according to George Lucas. Bastard.

12 home video I'll bet you haven't seen one of these in a few years.




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