September 14, 1998
C.K.L.'S HOTSHEET *
WHAT NON-AARDVARKS ARE PONDERING THIS WEEK...
01 THE SOUND OF SILENCEMy downstairs neighbor isn't pounding as much anymore. Consider it "becalmed in hell".
02 THE STOCK MARKETOne of my friends wants advice on investing. Another says, "You wouldn't gamble in vegas without having read an article or about odds and gambling, right?" [sic] Actually...
03 SPACE GHOST NEWSYour regular newscast is boring. Ghost Planet News is part of this complete breakfast.
04 THE BOATLast year, a U.S. Navy submarine's computer systems crashed because Windows NT couldn't gracefully handle a "divide by zero" error. Meanwhile, a team from MIT won a submarine competition with a boat running Linux. Draw your own conclusions.
05 IMZADI 2Comic-book writer Peter David has written a sequel to his Star Trek: The Next Generation prequel Imzadi. Please, save your money and spare yourself the agony.
06 EMBRYOSCan you tell which embryo is human?
07 P.A.W.It's the Pit of Advertising Wonders! ... and no, it doesn't involve female undergarments.
08 DELLDell is now selling computers with the Linux operating system pre-installed. Because some people just can't stand working when they can pay someone else to do the work for them.
09 IMDBThe website was redesigned by Amazon.com early this month. Nobody likes it.
10 XENASecretary of State Madeleine Albright claims that the warrior princess is one of her role models. Not for business fashions, we hope.
11 STAR WARS CINEMALet the copyright infringement begin.
12 GLOBALSTARA Russian launch crew covered up a rocket crash for all of two hours. Old habits die hard, I guess.
13 THE EMMYSIf you had a WebTV Plus, you could have watched the awards show with "Enhanced TV" (ETV) features. Because four hours of stale narration just isn't enough to satisfy today's information-hungry viewing audience.
14 RUPERT MURDOCHThe head of the FOX Network nixes a TV movie based on Clarence Thomas' sexual harassment of Anita Hill. Showtime is expected to pick up the rights to continue its "deviant sexual behavior isn't so bad!" movie series.
15 THE STARR REPORTYou probably won't be able to access it here. Or here. Or here. Or here...
with apologies to Jim Mullen
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