July 13, 1998
C.K.L.'S HOTSHEET *
WHAT NON-AARDVARKS ARE PONDERING THIS WEEK...
01 ECKWaitaminit... I'm making monthly repayments to "Chela Financial". Did some freakin' New Age Church buy my student loan?
02 ONE DIGITAL DAY"In one 24-hour period, 100 of the world's top photojournalists were asked to capture intimate and emotional stories of how the microchip -- which didn't even exist 30 years ago -- has transformed nearly every aspect of human civilization, from science, medicine and commerce to sports, education and entertainment."
03 NOW YOU SEE IT...and now you don't.
04 MICROSOFT VS. THE WORLDEven AT&T is suing Microsoft these days. Sucks to be you, Micro-lawyer dudes.
05 KOSHER SEXNo pork, no Chr*stmas, and now abstinence? Sucks to be you, Jew-dudes.
06 STAR WARS TRIVIAL PURSUITNow, instead of feeling like a dope for not knowing who the eighteenth President of the United States was, you can feel good about not knowing Luke Skywalker's mother's maiden name.
07 10 TIPSSomebody thinks you should buy DVD now. Well, it's certainly better than fucking DIVX...
08 VIDEO COMPRESSION"Well, somebody has to do these things!"
09 VOLANTORSome guy named Moller wants to make cars that fly. He's also got a partner named Scolly, and a government conspiracy is trying to impede his progress.
10 RACISMThis is the most offensive thing I've seen all week. So why am I sharing it, you ask? Because we cannot allow this shit to keep happening. Never forget. Never forget. NEVER FORGET.
11 WEB CRAPLots of Web products and technologies are overrated.
12 DON'T DRINK AND MARRYMoral of the story: Always have a designated groom at your wedding.
13 GO"Go is a much more interesting computing problem than Chess ... programmers must try to replace exhaustive search with expert knowledge, as human players do; they must approximate human perception[,] judgment and reasoning. So far there has been little success ..."
14 BAD DISKPercussive maintenace didn't work... Now I'm hoping these guys can help. (At the prices they're charging, they'd damn well better be able to do something!)
15 LETHAL WEAPON 4They're too old for this shit-- and so am I.
with apologies to Jim Mullen
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