July 6, 1998
C.K.L.'S HOTSHEET *
WHAT NON-AARDVARKS ARE PONDERING THIS WEEK...
01 PARANOIAYeah, sure, you've seen the X-Files movie and were sufficiently frightened by the Oiliens. But how much do you know about the real conspiracies?
02 UROULETTEThe original random link page!
03 CELEBRITY CALCULATORSWho says math is boring?
04 iCat.comYou too can build a free online store-- right after you pay $200 to set up a merchant account with your local bank.
05 TCIYou knew AT&T bought the cable company, right? Did you blink?
06 THIRTY-SEVEN!A game based on the films of Kevin Smith.
07 DEMI MOOREShe's divorcing Bruce Willis after eleven years of marriage. She just couldn't handle that fast-lane celebrity lifestyle.
08 AMISHAbner Stoltzfus and Abner Stoltzfus, two young Amish men, were caught buying cocaine from a biker gang. Community leaders Abner Stoltzfus and Abner Stoltzfus had no comment.
09 AND SPEAKING OF DOPE...Check out what the H-Dog has to say. And get your very own jive translator!
10 THE ZAPRUDER FILM: SPECIAL EDITIONAbraham's heirs will release a digitally enhanced home video version of the famous film showing the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. With new computer-generated dewbacks.
11 ARMAGEDDONThe word "flameout" comes to mind.
with apologies to Jim Mullen
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