June 1, 1998
NEXT HOTSHEET: June 15, 1998
C.K.L.'S HOTSHEET *
WHAT NON-AARDVARKS ARE PONDERING THIS WEEK...
01 THE MAD SCIENTIST NETWORKDon't get even-- get odd!
02 DOG PIESIt's 1998 in northern Russia. Do you know what your meat pies are made out of?
03 PHIL HARTMANFarewell to Troy McClure, Lionel Hutz, and so many others... we'll miss you.
04 MISQUOTED"The company intends, over the long-term, to move its entire network infrastructure -- including its long-distance voice network -- to an [Internet] platform called the Advanced Network Services Platform that will serve as the simplified basis for the creation of future services for AT&T."
05 BYTE MAGAZINEAnother one bites the dust.
06 SUMMER BLOCKBUSTERSNot happy with this year's crop? Grow your own hit movie!
07 THE DUMMY COWWho was it that said: "The affluence of a nation can be measured by the quality of its bovine sex toys"? Was it perhaps Jimmy?
08 BURN RATENo, it's not another William Gibson cyberpunk opus-- it's Michael Wolff's new I-swear-to-ghod-it's-true nonfiction book about the wacky world of Internet entrepeneurship. I know, it's easy to get the two genres confused.
09 NETOMANIADo you suffer from Internet addiction? Now there's help! Just visit my website at http://...
10 LOVE BEEPERA new Japanese gadget alerts the wearer when someone of the opposite sex with similar interests comes within five meters. I'm sorry, I can't even make a joke on top of that.
11 CORPUS CHRISTIThe controversial play by Terrence McNally portrays Jesus as homosexual. And you thought South Park was bad...
12 GINGER SPICEShe's leaving the Spice Girls behind. Music lovers all over the world expressed deep indifference upon hearing the news.
13 MIRAfter three days of computer problems, the space station is ready to rendezvous with the Space Shuttle. (They just had to restart Windows 98 after un-installing Internet Explorer.)
14 SUPERMANThe archetypal comic book superhero celebrates his sixtieth birthday today, but the Man of Steel is still going strong (as shown here).
15 BICYCLESCaption of the Week: "A Boston doctor believes that excessive bicycling could lead to impotence"
with apologies to Jim Mullen
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