May 11, 1998  



by Curtis C. Chen

01 THEODORE KACZYNSKI The Unabomber pleads his way down to life in prison. That's all.

02 VATICAN MURDERS If you had to wear those silly clothes all the time, you'd be disgruntled too.

03 ASTEROIDS Okay, so you went to see The Big Movie over the weekend... Now get the facts. (No hoarding!)

04 INTERNET POLICE In Thailand, nobody knows if you're a cop.

05 AT&T LABS There's more news than this about our May 8 silicon valley grand opening, but you'll have to pay to read it. Ah... irony.

06 DJVU Hey kids! It's image compression technology from AT&T Labs! Try it out for free!

07 CONNECT 'N' SAVE A new service from AT&T... you'll hear more about it soon enough.

08 COMMERCIAL>>ADVANCE® I love my new VCR, but apparently it's already obsolete.

09 DEATH BY CURRY Hey, we all gotta die sometime.

10 SEINFELD Good-bye and good riddance. Of course, I didn't hate it quite as much as this misanthropic, anti-Semitic, borderline psychotic mean person did. So go stone him first, please.

11 LANGUAGE TRANSMOGRIFIER Experience the magic of automation for yourself!

12 SANDMAN If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then what the hell is this? ...Never mind. Don't answer that.


* with apologies to Jim Mullen

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