May 11, 1998
C.K.L.'S HOTSHEET *
WHAT NON-AARDVARKS WERE PONDERING LAST WEEK
01 THEODORE KACZYNSKIThe Unabomber pleads his way down to life in prison. That's all.
02 VATICAN MURDERSIf you had to wear those silly clothes all the time, you'd be disgruntled too.
03 ASTEROIDSOkay, so you went to see The Big Movie over the weekend... Now get the facts. (No hoarding!)
04 INTERNET POLICEIn Thailand, nobody knows if you're a cop.
05 AT&T LABSThere's more news than this about our May 8 silicon valley grand opening, but you'll have to pay to read it. Ah... irony.
06 DJVUHey kids! It's image compression technology from AT&T Labs! Try it out for free!
07 CONNECT 'N' SAVEA new service from AT&T... you'll hear more about it soon enough.
08 COMMERCIAL>>ADVANCE®I love my new VCR, but apparently it's already obsolete.
09 DEATH BY CURRYHey, we all gotta die sometime.
10 SEINFELDGood-bye and good riddance. Of course, I didn't hate it quite as much as this misanthropic, anti-Semitic, borderline psychotic mean person did. So go stone him first, please.
11 LANGUAGE TRANSMOGRIFIERExperience the magic of automation for yourself!
12 SANDMANIf imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, then what the hell is this? ...Never mind. Don't answer that.
with apologies to Jim Mullen
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