Denvention Has Begun

One of the many sights we saw today at the 66th WorldCon:

From Denvention 3

(I'm not convinced it was an actual stargate. The wormhole was definitely open for more than thirty-eight minutes, and I didn't see any singularities nearby.)

For more photos and details, click on over to Travels With Our Cats!

~CKL

Hancock and the Golden Wall-E

Yes indeedy, the summer movie season is here, and with it we have a spate of films that are overstuffed with special effects, action set pieces, and--somewhat surprisingly--story. But this is not necessarily a good thing.

The last three movies D and I have seen--Wall-E, Hellboy II: The Golden Army, and Hancock--all suffer from an excess of good material. It's as if the filmmakers couldn't decide what story they wanted to tell, and just decided to blend everything together in the script-o-matic. The end results contain bits of interesting premises, but those bits are floating in a vaguely incoherent story-like substance. Or, to use another metaphor: too many dots, not all connected.

I wouldn't say any of them was bad, but you can probably wait for DVD to see for yourself.

(MINOR SPOILERS BELOW)

The worst offender, in terms of underdeveloped story and character, is Hellboy II. I really liked the first Hellboy movie, which managed to preserve much of the feeling of the original comic while also adding its own flourishes. But for the sequel, director Guillermo del Toro went a little overboard on art direction and makeup design--there are some amazing creatures which appear on screen for less than five minutes.

I'm glad Guillermo is getting the budget to play with stuff like this, and the movie looks beautiful, but there are literally half a dozen different subplots which all get shortchanged along the way. If you're going to see any of these three films on the big screen, go for Hellboy II. It's gorgeous.

Hancock, on the other hand, features some of the worst superhero-flying visual effects I've ever seen. I'm not talking about how Will Smith's character flies like the drunkard he is--that's actually a nice touch. I'm talking about the quality of the computer graphics and compositing. The lighting doesn't match between elements, and foreground object edges ring like crazy. It's surprisingly subpar for a big movie like this.

And even if you haven't seen the movie, I'm sure you've heard about the big left turn it takes in the second half. After reading a synopsis of the original screenplay (which was written in 1996 and titled--I'm not even kidding--Tonight, He Comes) and looking at the writing credits for the finished film, it seems obvious that X-Files alumnus Vince Gilligan smothered newcomer Vy Vincent Ngo's spec with half-baked mythology in the hopes of making it--well, something else. It didn't quite work.

D has a higher opinion of the final product than I do. I agree with her assertion that just three additional scenes would have filled in the biggest plot holes, but I don't think merely connecting the dots would have helped this movie to the next level. We never really find out who Hancock is--we do learn his origin, but we never get to know his character.

Wall-E has the opposite problem. The film has a nearly perfect first act. It starts with a show tune--"Put on Your Sunday Clothes" from Hello, Dolly--and introduces us to the titular robot with no dialogue at all. You could say this is the movie Pixar was destined to make; "Luxo Jr.," the animated short film that put them on the map, was all about making an emotional connection between the audience and an anthropomorphized desk lamp, using nothing but movement and a few sound effects.

Unfortunately, this film also takes a bit of a left turn halfway through. It's not quite as egregious as Hancock; in Wall-E's case, it's like the writers felt they needed to graft on a second story that featured more talking, almost as if they didn't have confidence that non-speaking robots could carry the whole movie. The addition isn't nonsensical or even a tonal shift, but it felt somewhat unnecessary and oversimplified to me.

Part of the problem is, I'm sure, that I've read much more science fiction than the kids at whom Wall-E is aimed. I know from generation ships and environmental apocalypses and mutinous ship's computers. It was fun to see the references to 2001: A Space Odyssey and Logan's Run and Star Trek, but I would have liked more exploration of the underlying concepts along with copying the imagery. These particular Big Ideas aren't new to me, so I want a little more depth in their presentation.

I know everyone is gushing about Wall-E, but I'm a bit disappointed with Pixar this time around. They usually spend years perfecting their stories and pinpointing the hearts and souls of their characters*, and I feel like they shortchanged their main character to spend time on a very standard, MacGuffin-fueled third act. There were so many other, more interesting things in the movie they could have developed. I'm still waiting for the next great science fiction film to come along and wow me.

~CKL

* Cars is the exception that proves the rule.

He Told You So

There's been a lot of to-do in the news lately about the economy--recession, financial crisis, yada yada yada. You know what? I heard all this back in May, 2007, from James Scurlock*, director of the documentary Maxed Out and author of the accompanying book.

Here he is, doing Q&A after a screening of the film at Google:



As with most non-Michael Moore documentaries, this one didn't really get a wide release, but it is worth seeing, especially now that sub-prime mortgages have melted down and everyone on Wall Street says the sky is falling. As my friend Mark says: "Debt is a four-letter word."

~CKL

* Not to be confused with Morgan Spurlock of Super Size Me fame.

Sex and the Incredible Hulk

(NOT what you think)

Despite my earlier protestations, D and I were both won over by the Scene Unseen review and actually paid good money to see Sex and the City last night.* A week ago, we took D's family out to see The Incredible Hulk. It may surprise you to learn that these two movies share many similarities! Well, maybe two. Would you believe three vowels and a consonant?**

But seriously, folks... both movies actually do begin the same way, with a fast-cutting "our story thus far" montage. With Sex, it's a collection of clips from the HBO series which (re)introduces the four main characters and explains their current life situations--married, with children, etc. For Hulk, it's a high-energy retcon that erases the first, Ang Lee movie and establishes that Bruce Banner has been on the run for several years, hulking out periodically while eluding capture by the U.S. Army.

Fashion is also an issue in both films. Carrie Bradshaw is very particular about her wedding dress, and Bruce Banner is very particular about his stretchy pants.

That's about where the similarities end. I have to admit that Sex was the better movie, even for a straight man with little interest in handbags. It was just a better show, featuring well-drawn characters in a solid story that weaves all their lives together. Maybe because of its TV roots, and perhaps because they didn't want to screw up the franchise, it's clear that a lot of energy went into writing this movie and protecting its heart. There are themes, there are callbacks and parallels, there is solid structure.

Hulk, on the other hand, shows obvious signs of its story having been gutted by a contentious post-production period. Edward Norton didn't get official screen credit for his work on the screenplay (though he is credited in the novelization), and scuttlebutt says most of his contributions--including an opening sequence in the Arctic, which you may have glimpsed in the trailer--were scrapped. I don't believe the final battle would have seemed any less like a video game (an effect heightened when you see it in digital projection), but it might have had a better setup. It's like Joss Whedon says: "The problem with the third act is the first two acts."

~CKL

* I quote my wife: "We listened to that damn podcast, and now I totally have a hard-on for Sex and the City." Direct quote.

** That's my little Get Smart homage, which I understand from reviews is on par with how much the new movie has to do with the original TV series. Oh well.

Caspian : Indiana :: Peter : ?

The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull have two things in common. First, their title characters' names both have the letters I-A-N in them. (But they're pronounced differently: "EE-un" vs. "ee-AN.") Also, they're the names of places in the real world. Uh, okay, make that three things. (Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!) Next, they're both sequels with really long, multi-part titles. Dammit! Four things!

The fourth and final commonality is that in both movies, the main story isn't really about the title character. (SPOILERS FOLLOW. AND THE COMFY CHAIR!) In Caspian, the one with the most significant story arc is Peter, the oldest of the Pevensie kids, who bites off more than he can chew and nearly loses his way. In Skull, the one driving the story is the Russian dame played by Cate Blanchett, and that kind of dulls the whole show. It's an enjoyable ride, but if the movie were a video game, you would be playing as Irina Spalko, and Indy et al. would be the NPCs that you have to wheedle to get the information you need to solve the puzzles.

I don't want this post to be excessively spoiler-rific, but I will say that the third act does go off the rails. A lot of the plot twists and obstacles were rather gratuitous, there's a chase scene that goes on way too long, and I had major issues with some of the cinematography toward the end: there's one shot which just makes no sense at all, story-wise. It's particularly disappointing because the opening sequence has some classic Spielberg cinematography, and I was expecting a lot more of it. He's really got to stop hanging out with that Lucas guy so much.*

Finally, I can't be the only one who was continually distracted by how much Caspian's Ben Barnes looks like Timothy Olyphant from Deadwood:



* An imaginary conversation:
"Let's do everything with green-screen!"
"...Okay!"
"And motion-capture!"
"Uh... You know, we actually did pay Harrison a lot of money to be in this picture. I mean, as himself. With his own face and all."
"We can make him look twenty years younger! It'll be a prequel!"
"Look, I don't want to have to stage another intervention for you, George."

~CKL

Netflix Living Up to Their Name

Earlier this week, the Netflix Player set-top box launched. The Roku hardware costs $100, and the minimum subscription plan that lets you stream content is $9 a month. This would have been awesome, except for three serious deficiencies:

1. Limited selection - currently, only older movies and TV shows are available for streaming--less than 10% of Netflix's total catalog
2. No HD output - highest resolution is 480p.
3. As D says: "Streaming sucks."

Don't get me wrong. I think it's definitely a step in the right direction, and I'm glad to see Apple TV getting some competition, even if it's an orange. At least it's not a lemon. What's that about bad puns? I can't hear you, I've got a banana in my ear!

~CKL

Ken Levine's Summer Movie Previews

Instead of making my own jokes about upcoming movie releases, I'll let a professional do it this time.

Ken Levine "has worked on MASH, CHEERS, FRASIER, THE SIMPSONS, WINGS, EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND, BECKER, DHARMA & GREG, and has co-created his own series including ALMOST PERFECT starring Nancy Travis." He's also a fan of sports, especially baseball, and American Idol, and none of those things appeals to me. So maybe you'll appreciate a different perspective. Maybe you'll start reading his blog instead of mine. Whatever. Do what you want. LIKE I CARE.

Anyway, here's Part One and Part Two of Ken's previews. Since he is a TV comedy writer, you may want to take some of the synopses with a grain of salt.

Two of my favorites are:

GET SMART – Adaptation of the 60s Don Adams/Barbara Feldon sitcom. Now with Steve Carrell and Anne Hathaway. I’m sure it’s hilarious. Would you believe funny? Would you believe if you’ve had four tequila shooters it has its amusing moments? I know one of the writers so I’m hoping it’s the first.

and:

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH 3-D: Or for those with bad depth perception – JOURNEY TO THE WORST HEADACHE OF YOUR LIFE.

There now, wasn't that enjoyable? If you still want my two cents, feel free to read on.

I'm most looking forward to Pixar's Wall-E (June 27), which may also be the only bona fide science fiction film of the whole year--make me a liar, Fish.* Running a close second is The Dark Knight (July 18), followed by Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (May 22). And despite Mr. Levine's indifference, Hellboy II: The Golden Army (July 11) just looks like a damn lot of fun.

I'm willing to give The Incredible Hulk (June 13) the benefit of a doubt (and how many times have we heard the Avengers say that?), and Get Smart (June 20)--to paraphrase my friend Tim--might be good if it doesn't SUCK.

Finally, I'm not entirely convinced that The Happening (June 13), Hancock (July 2), or The X-Files: I Want to Believe (July 25) are really even necessary. And I am nowhere near being the target audience for Sex and the City (May 30).

* Does anyone get that this is a quote from the movie Contact? No? Okay, just checking.

~CKL

Iron and Weed

The last two movies D and I saw in theatres were Iron Man (two weeks ago) and Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay (last night). We had low expectations for both films, for different reasons, but ended up enjoying both of them quite a bit.

To its credit, Iron Man is much more grounded in reality than many other comic book adaptations. If you didn't know it was a Marvel property, you might actually think it was a pretty good science fiction movie--more RoboCop than Back to the Future, but with elements of both.

If you stay through the end credits, you'll see a somewhat gratuitous clip that sets up a sequel. Actually (spoiler alert), I have it on good authority that there is an actual Iron Man cameo in the upcoming Incredible Hulk movie. There have been in-jokes or name-checks in other live-action superhero movies, but this would be the first time that one character has actually appeared in another's movie. Call me a fanboy, but I love it when fictional worlds actually intersect.

On the other hand, Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay has virtually no basis in reality. It's quite entertaining for what it is, even if they repeated a few redneck gags from the first film and went way overboard with the political satire. If the first movie was Harold's show, this one was all about Kumar. A sequel seems inevitable, and while I have a hard time imagining where they go from here, I'm sure it will involve Neil Patrick Harris.

Coming up next: Indiana Jones, obviously. I have very little desire to see Speed Racer, which the Flick Filosopher describes thusly:

Imagine if the pod race in Star Wars Episode I was as bad as everyone said it was, and took itself twice as seriously, and went on for more than two hours. And then add a wiseass monkey and his sidekick, an obnoxious kid, on top. Stir, and scream. The Wachowski Brothers have taken the genius of their Matrix series, its ability to defy physics and make it work, and turned it into something it would be an insult to cartoons to call cartoonish.

I guess I already knew that from the awful trailers, but it's nice to have it confirmed.

~CKL

Free Comic Book Day

Since we're currently traveling, and I don't have the time or access to resources I would at home, I get my news from an odd variety of sources. For example, it was a hotel copy of USA Today, perused over breakfast, that reminded me of the upcoming Free Comic Book Day on Saturday.



This year, FCBD coincides with the release of the Iron Man movie. However, Iron Man is not one of the free comics being offered--he only appears as one of the heroes in the Marvel Adventures title. Isn't that (wait for it) ironic?

Thank you! I'll be here all week!

~CKL

Jane's Forbidden Book Kingdom

Over the weekend, D and I saw two movies from opposite ends of the genre spectrum: The Forbidden Kingdom (in a theatre) and The Jane Austen Book Club (on DVD). Both were enjoyable, for different reasons.

Kingdom is all archetypes and broad strokes, with plot points telegraphed hours in advance, sometimes immediately upon a character's introduction. This is not necessarily a bad thing, since the story is based on Chinese legends*, and myths are sometimes built upon knowing what's coming, but it is all very silly. Good clean family fun, though, and you know what you're going to get within the first fifteen minutes.

Book Club, on the other hand, is all about the specifics of its characters and the precise mechanics of their relationships. The only story that didn't quite ring true was Prudie's. I haven't read the book yet, but D says Prudie comes off as much more sympathetic on the page; in the movie, her husband doesn't seem like such a villain, and their final reconciliation is a little bit too tidy.

But any show which advocates Ursula LeGuin's novels (and science fiction in general) is totally worth supporting. I firmly believe the world would be a better place if more women read science fiction and learned kung fu.

* Aside: When I was younger and on a serious Star Wars kick, my parents told me repeatedly (in a manner that would have made Pavel Chekov proud) how the whole Jedi mythos was ripped off from centuries-old Chinese Wu Xia novels. They were partly correct; culturally, George Lucas stole more from Japanese Samurai history, but many of the supernatural elements ("These aren't the droids you're looking for") are derived from Qi Gong. I suspect they were trying to get me in touch with my ethnic heritage or something. Didn't really work. It's tough for anything to compete with lightsabers, you know?

~CKL

Smart People

Editorial Note: Since I'll be on the road for the next few months, most of my blogging will happen over on Travels With Our Cats. You can subscribe to both blogs using my combined feed from Yahoo! Pipes. (Not responsible for any damage to the space-time continuum caused if you add this feed to Google Reader.)

It's been a long time since D and I had an actual weekend to relax and have some fun. The last month has been consumed, first by the Midnight Madness Game, then by packing and moving out of our house in Mountain View, and finally with preparations for our big summer-long road trip. We didn't actually get a chance to slow down and breathe until after we'd driven all the way down to San Diego, the first stop on our sightseeing trip.

So, on Friday night, we went out to the movies. D gave me four to choose from: The Forbidden Kingdom, Leatherheads, Smart People, and Forgetting Sarah Marshall. About that last one--I should point out that she normally doesn't go for comedies, especially ones featuring broad physical comedy, but we love "How I Met Your Mother." And it sucks that the hotel's broadband connection won't support streaming video from CBS.com. But that's another post.

I probably would have picked Forbidden Kingdom for some lighthearted fun, but by the time we finished dinner, it was too late for that or Leatherheads. So I went with Smart People. It's not a perfect movie, but it turned out to be a great choice for us at that time. Dennis Quaid gives a wonderfully subdued performance--totally against type for him--and Thomas Haden Church steals the show with some absolutely essential nudity and profanity.

Going in, D was afraid it might be "one of those movies," meaning an overwritten indie talk-o-rama that doesn't know when to shut up. It wasn't; in fact, there's an economy of dialogue that balances the significant, wordless moments. I wouldn't recommend Smart People for everyone, but it's a nice, quiet, human story with some good laughs. Look for it on DVD.

~CKL

Today In History: One Week Ago

Last Wednesday, for my belated birthday present, D took me on the "Deluxe VIP" Warner Brothers studio tour. (I didn't want to do it last fall because of the writers strike. I won't cross a picket line.)

The tour was a full five hours on the WB lot, including lunch at the commissary and walk-throughs of actual production areas (standing sets for "ER" and "Chuck," exteriors used in "Gilmore Girls" and Ocean's Thirteen, etc.). Lots of fun! As shown here:

WB Studio Tour

No photos were allowed in the studio museum, where the whole second floor was dedicated to some kid named Harry Potter. But my favorite exhibit was on the ground floor, of several memos from an executive first greenlighting the production of Bonnie and Clyde, then later writing a follow-up note saying he really should have read the script before agreeing to spend a whopping $1.6 million on something that had "no redeeming social value" (read: pr0n) and he was concerned about the commercial and critical prospects for the picture and could they maybe at least get some actual stars in the cast?

Some things never change. A Martian wouldn't say that!

~CKL

"Leon!"

First of all, let's be honest. Midnight Madness is an awful movie. It's dreadful, really. Terrible. There are only two reasons it should ever be discussed in polite company: 1) it was Michael J. Fox's first feature film; and 2) it was the direct inspiration for The Game.

At last night's Captain's Meeting, Team Snout (plus some Drunken Spiders) revealed that we are running the previously announced Game on April 5th. We had discussed keeping our identity secret for longer, but not only would that have been very difficult for us, it would also have prevented us from fully participating in the event. And, in the end, we thought it was more thematically appropriate to do the big reveal at the Captain's Meeting. We even put together our own version of Leon's slide show, as a tribute to the original presentation for "The Great All-Nighter."

But let's get back to the movie. It was made in 1980, and is chock-full of the high dairy content which distinguished many of that decade's entertainments. I suspect that Joe Belfiore and his cohorts, the first people to take on the role of "Game Control," felt that they could make better puzzles than those depicted in the movie--which is not that hard, but making everything work in a live event can be very challenging.

We, Team Snout, wanted to get "back to basics" for a few reasons. First and foremost, we wanted to run one last Game before DeeAnn and I move out of the bay area, and we had limited time to plan. A smaller, more simple event made sense and fit (barely) within our timeline for the move. More generally, GCs tend to want to one-up each other all the time, either designing more elaborate clues, finding more impressive locations, providing better meals, or otherwise adding complexity and cost to their events. (We are also guilty of this--we'll be the first to admit that our last Game was a logistical nightmare.)

So we view this Midnight Madness Game as a sort of encore to the Hogwarts Game, and a reminder to everyone in the community of what makes these events fun in the first place. You don't need train rides or fancy meals or electronic gadgets to put on a great event. All you need is...well, you'll find that out on April 5th. But feel free to speculate in the comments. :)

~CKL

No More Secrets, you see

Better late than never, right? Here's Crissy's highlight video from last year's Game:



My favorite of her photos is this group shot:



But Karl re-enacting a scene from the movie runs a close second:



I'm also looking forward to Jan's NMS post-mortem at next Friday's GC Summit. As noted previously, Team Snout were not huge fans of the "field office" structure, which slowed down faster teams by holding them at certain locations and throwing "bonus clues" at them until it was time to move forward. But we did enjoy most of the rest of the event, especially the many entertaining variations on word puzzles. It'll be fun to hear GC's perspective.

~CKL

"In God We Trust"

An award-winning short film made in 2000 by Jason Reitman, director of Juno and Thank You For Smoking. The kid's got talent:

Overheard at a Wedding

Ken and Jerry got married yesterday! They threw a great party, featuring the ultimate montage of TV and movie wedding scenes, a lightning-fast ceremony, excellent food and cake served by the Professional Culinary Institute, and Mr. Lobo swearing in the dearly beloved with a modified version of his Knights of Insomnia Oath.

Later, at the TARDIS table, there was a scholarly debate about the nature of comedy:

Chris: Hey, repeating one joke is what got Milton Berle where he is today.
Kevin: Dead?

My job for the first part of the evening was Doorman, and I wore a tuxedo because it seemed an appropriate costume. I was, of course, completely outdone by Andy and Kevin's military-inspired BDUs (they were working Security), and the happy couple outshone us all--Ken in the Tenth Doctor's brown suit and white Converse trainers, and Jerry in a gravity-defying corset. The bride also wore a strategically placed button which read: "Thanks! My husband likes them too."

However, I did receive a compliment of the highest order on my attire: an Englishman addressed me as "Bond." Thanks, Merv. I was stirred, not shaken.

~CKL

Not Safe For Work

Actually, this probably isn't safe for most homes, either.

Brought to you by Kevin Smith and the cast of his new movie, Zack and Miri Make a Porno:



(If you're wondering where this came from, see Salon.com's chronology of effing videos.)

It's too bad that Elizabeth Banks can't actually sing. I'm almost as disappointed as I was that Alyson Hannigan didn't have the pipes to do a full song in the Buffy musical episode.

And to wrap up this musical tribute to intercourse, check out Jonathan Coulton's springtime anthem "First of May", which you can download for free. Because, as you know, the best things in life are free. And you can give them to the birds and bees.

~CKL

Oscar Fever

On Sunday, D and I threw our annual Oscar Party to watch the Academy Awards with friends. Favorite moment: our audience's boo/yay/meh cheers for each movie during the 80-years-of-Best-Pictures montage. (Gladiator: BOO! Lord of the Rings: YAY! Crash: meh.)

Nearly thirty people showed up, which is more than we've ever hosted. A thermometer at the edge of the crowd topped 74 degrees Fahrenheit, but I suspect the temperature was higher near the center of the room. And that's with an air conditioner and two fans running.

Even our TiVo was feeling the heat. Here's the internal temperature log from tivoweb:



As you can see, it always runs pretty hot, but 118F is unprecedented. Of course, the drives could have gone up to 50C (122F) and still been within acceptable operating limits.

That's hot. (Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

This was our last shindig in the bay area. We'll continue throwing Oscar parties in Portland next year, but Ken has offered to carry on the tradition down here. He, and anyone else who's interested, is welcome to use my Oscar Acceptance Speech BINGO cards for future events--I'll continue updating them every year and improving the word-sifter algorithm.

Last but not least, some photos from the evening:

View Album

Get your own

~CKL

Madness? THIS. IS. THE GAME!

Game season is here! In addition to the GC Summit in March, there's another Shinteki on May 3rd and 10th, coed astronomy just announced a mini-game on April 19th, and last week I received an invitation for "Midnight Madness: Back to Basics" on April 5th:


(click through for more photos)

D and I are moving to Portland in April, so we're going to miss Shinteki and the coeds' mini-game, but we'll definitely stick around for Midnight Madness, which appears to be based on the movie that started it all.

I played my first one of these puzzle hunts in 1996, and still have fond memories of those older events, which were more secretive and mysterious. You didn't know who GC was, and teams had to be invited to play. (There was a talk about this at last year's GC Summit--perhaps someone was inspired?)

Of course, "Back to Basics" could be good or bad. One of the oldest complaints from players is "too many paper clues." And though some teams say they miss searching locations to find clues, we've found (as GC) that they get frustrated within ten minutes. Also, we have no idea who's running this Game, and while I'm all for more people running more Games, I'm not so keen on rookie GCs with limited experience trying too many wacky new things.

But, as the saying goes, cold pizza is better than no pizza. And on the plus side, these guys made their invitations look less like junk mail than The Genome Game (whose postcards several teams discarded at first). I guess that suggests a non-newbie GC, or at least someone who's been active in the Game community since 2004. Or earlier. Hmm.

Joe Belfiore, who started the tradition at Stanford and carried it on to Microsoft, has more to say about the history of The Game...

#

UPDATE, 20 Mar 2008: Team Snout have revealed that we are the ones running this Game. Thanks for putting up with our charade. :)

~CKL

"High Tech Noon"

Totally awesome. It's like TOS meets Firefly...



The sad thing is, this is pretty much what the "special editions" of the original Star Wars trilogy were. Except that George Lucas wasn't having a laugh--he had simply gone insane. Absolute power and all that, y'know.

(from darrylgold.com, via the flick filosopher)

~CKL

I am a Twelve-Year-Old Girl

No, this is not an Internet-dog-joke variant. I'm just very much in touch with my inner tween.

Consider: Of my wife and myself, I am the one who wanted to go see Enchanted in the theatre. I am also the one who sat through all three hours of MTV's broadcast of Legally Blonde: The Musical. And enjoyed most of it. (D sat down for a little while, but had to leave during "Gay or European," after giving me her trademark "What the hell are you watching?" look.)

I even teared up at the end of the cut-rate ABC TV version of Annie--you know, the crazy 1999 production with that stupid "NYC" song and in which Annie doesn't actually sing "Tomorrow." Like I said, crazy. But worth watching for Alan Cumming and Kristin Chenoweth alone.

Anyway. How cool is it that three out of five of this year's Best Original Song nominees are from Enchanted? I mean, okay, it's not really fair to put The Frames up against the guys who did The Little Mermaid and Wicked, but you can't argue with quality.

And I am curious about, but mostly dreading, the musical version of Time After Time, a sequel to H.G. Wells' The Time Machine. Unless they go wacky and include a dancing Morlock kick-line. That might be worth seeing.

~CKL

Quote of the Day

"Who wouldn't want to see Bill Murray in a movie about meteorite-induced sexual compulsiveness?"
- Charlie Anders, io9: "Stanley Kubrick's Crazy Space Lawsuit"

M/W/28...DOA

Heath Ledger is dead.

There's going to be a lot of frivolous reporting in the next few days--especially since this year's Academy Award nominees were also announced today, and that's one hell of a juicy juxtaposition--but before you drown in that bottomless pit, here's some perspective from the NYPD:

ON TUESDAY, 01/22/08, AT APPROXIMATELY 1530 HOURS, IN THE CONFINES OF THE 5 PRECINCT, POLICE RESPONDED TO 421 BROOME STREET AND FOUND A M/W/28 UNCONSCIOUS. THE VICTIM WAS PRONOUNCED DOA AT THE SCENE. M.E.’S OFFICE TO DETERMINE THE CAUSE OF DEATH. INVESTIGATION CONTINUES.

That's the official police summary of the incident. We all look the same to the Grim Reaper. Death lays his icy hands on kings.

Xmas Movie Marathon 2007

It's become a tradition for D and me to do an all-day movie marathon on December 25th each year. So yesterday, we stayed at the AMC Mercado 20 for thirteen hours and watched five movies:

Sweeney Todd
Juno
National Treasure: Book of Secrets
Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story
Charlie Wilson's War

Of those, National Treasure was the weakest, though I wouldn't say it was downright bad. It didn't pretend to be anything more than what it was: a bombastic spectacle, made up of increasingly ludicrous action scenes lubricated by increasingly gratuitous historical name-dropping. The ending practically beats you over the head with the setup for another sequel, but I'm not sure how much more early American chronology they can exploit before it just becomes too silly.

Walk Hard was broader than I expected, but absolutely hilarious with moments of pure genius. The scene with the Beatles--in India--is alone worth the price of admission. On the other hand, Sweeney Todd was actually less manic than most of Tim Burton's other films, though it is unrelentingly Gothic. In a good way. With song and dance!

Charlie Wilson's War was very good, though it suffers from the montage/time-compression problem endemic to "based on a true story" movies (and which Walk Hard lampoons brilliantly). And I predict Julia Roberts' wig will receive a well-deserved Razzie nomination, if not a win.

The best of the bunch, Juno, was simply amazing. Ellen Page, who was quite possibly the best thing in X-Men: The Last Stand, really hits it out of the park here, but there's not a single bad cast member. The screenplay is sharp, and Jason Reitman (Thank You for Smoking) totally spanks his old man in the film-directing department.

Other qualities of note:

It's a close call, but Walk Hard beats Juno by a nose for being most quotable (especially out of context). "There's something happening here. What it is ain't exactly... obvious."

Charlie Wilson's War has the funniest single scene, a signature Aaron Sorkin character-juggling merry-go-round during the titular Congressman's first meeting with the scruffy CIA operative played by Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Charlie Wilson's War also features the single creepiest sound effect. No spoilers here, but listen very carefully during the party scene at the end, when Gust hands Charlie the memo about Kandahar.

Best music is a three-way tie: Sondheim's score for Sweeney Todd is bulletproof, but not all the actors are great singers; Walk Hard parodies a variety of musical styles very well, but by the same token, can't be totally original; and Juno has the perfect soundtrack for its quirky tone, but it's a very particular style.

One last thing: We had to sit through that stupid National Guard music video five times, and I can say conclusively that it doesn't make any goddamn sense at all.

We're in LA for the next few days, visiting my family, which means we'll get the chance to see more movies--some, like The Savages, which weren't showing near Mountain View, and others, like There Will Be Blood, which hadn't opened yet. I'm also looking forward to checking out the ArcLight and the Landmark at Westside, to see how they compare with Cinetopia.

Hooray for Hollywood!

Speechless

Actors support the writers' strike:



In other news:



Yup, I've finished my 50,000+ word NaNoWriMo novel for this year! I feel somewhat less successful and triumphant than the last two years, since I wasn't able to finish the complete story that I wanted to tell. But I did bring it to an abrupt, unsatisfying ending, which I understand is not uncommon for fantasy epics.

I also wasn't able to spend quite as much time writing this year, thanks to getting sick for several days early in the month and having other social commitments to honor, including a couple of TV Nights (D and I invite friends over to watch Heroes, three episodes at a time--thanks TiVo!) and a trip to Portland to visit our friend Mike and see the sights.

Just to bring this post full circle... Mike has a character named after him in the upcoming movie Case 39, starring Renee Zellweger, screenplay written by Mike's friend Ray. Mike would have preferred someone who looked more like himself to play the part of "Detective Mike Barron," but he supposes Deadwood badass Ian McShane will have to do.

The Mighty Pencil

Best. Strike Video. Ever So Far.



See many, many more at United Hollywood, or all over YouTube.

I have to admit, this is my favorite part of the WGA strike. Who needs TV when you've got all this free entertainment on the Internet?

I Thought That Was Obvious

So I've been seeing ads everywhere for the movie remake of I Am Legend, for which the tagline is "The last man on Earth is not alone." On its own, a catchy phrase. Makes you think a little bit. But when combined with the poster image, it loses all its punch. See if you can spot the inconsistency below:



Am I the only one who thinks this is a problem? He's got a dog. Of course he's not alone. The tagline is trying to set up the whole movie, making it all mysterious and whatnot, and then you look down and there's the dog. With the man. Man + Dog = Not Alone.

I mean, come on, Hollywood marketing drones. Don't you see how you're undercutting the whole premise of the advertising? You tantalize us with a question ("What do you mean, he's not alone? He's the last man on Earth! How can he not be alone?"), but then immediately allow for a lame and obvious answer ("Oh, I see, he's got a dog. So he's not alone because he has a dog. I get it.") Maybe I have a different sense of "alone" because I'm a pet owner, but there are a lot of pet owners out there.

Here's some free advice: You're supposed to make us wait for it, to get us all worked up because only seeing the movie will answer all our questions. This is just sloppy. It's like advertising LOST with a poster of an island and the tagline "Are they on an island?" I don't need to watch if the answer is right freakin' there in the ad.

I wonder if the I Am Legend ads are a case of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing--or, more likely, the marketing department not understanding what the writers were going for. "Great tagline! But we also need to show the dog in the poster. People like dogs. We need to attract that dog-owner demographic. What do you mean, it undercuts the tagline? Oh, you writers and your nitpicking! Get back to the salt mines and make some more words!"

StrikeDog is not amused.

The Cake is a Lie

The pie, on the other hand, is quite delicious.

(Graphics by Adam Levermore-Rich)

The Writers Guild of America (WGA) strike began yesterday. The title of this post comes from John Rogers, who enjoys cake as well as the video game Portal, and has a lot to say about why the strike happened and what should be done to end it. I mean, a lot. All you really need to know is the tiger bit. (Maybe the clip from The Daily Show. It is, after all, the last new episode you're going to see for a while.)

Another John, Mr. August to you, is tagging his strike-related blog posts for easy reading. Over at Artful Writer, Craig Mazin and Ted Elliott are doing the same.

Elsewhere, Brian K. Vaughn and Ken Levine also discuss the situation which led to the strike. Jane Espenson and Lisa Klink talk about being on the picket lines.

Many others are posting at United Hollywood.

Last, but not least, here's the "Pencils Down" full-page ad in which dozens of showrunners pledge not to write during the strike.

I'm only a pair of eyeballs in all this, but the major issues seem pretty clear-cut. When the writer of a show only gets paid .3% for DVD residuals (royalties)--that's less than a third of one percent--something is hideously broken.

If it ain't on the page, it ain't on the stage. And now it ain't on the page. Deal with that, Hollywood.

13 Years Over, to be Exact

My hand stamp from tonight's They Might Be Giants concert at The Fillmore. They are getting more like a "normal" band as they age, and I do miss the days when it was just two Johns and a bunch of electronics, but they still put on a great show.

D and I also saw In the Shadow of the Moon earlier today. It's a great documentary, even if you already know the Apollo program inside and out; it's not so much about giving new information as it is about seeing and hearing the astronauts themselves talk about it.

I was born after the last humans walked on the Moon, and I'm hoping I don't die before we go back.

 

Best Logline EVAR

Here's the official marketing blurb for the movie Rogue (2007):

"An American writer (Michael Vartan) goes on a wildlife boat tour in the Australian wetlands and is pleased to see that leading him into the wilderness is a hot tour guide (Radha Mitchell). However, his plans for romance as well [as] writing [are] set on the backburner when they're attacked by a giant crocodile with a taste for human flesh."

I mean, what more do you need to know?

Go See THE KING OF KONG

Opening this weekend at the Lumiere in SF and Shattuck Cinemas in Berkeley: A most excellent documentary about two gamers competing for the world record high score on Donkey Kong!

I saw a screening of the film today, and it's more gripping than you might expect. Most impressively, even though it features some real nutters, it never pokes fun at them or the video gaming community or makes anyone into a caricature. A couple of people do come off as real jerks, but they dig their own graves.

The filmmakers are now working on a fictionalized version of the story for New Line Cinema, but here's your chance to see the real story, on the big screen, before it gets tarted up by Hollywood.*

ObURLs:
Showtimes
Official site
Interview with Steve Wiebe



* That said, my dream cast includes Tom Cruise as defending champion Billy Mitchell and Alan Tudyk as challenger Steve Wiebe. Alan would need to put on a few pounds, Raging Bull-style, and get a dye job; Tom could prett