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03/27/2004 Archived Entry: "Attack of the Giant Shrimp from Mars"
Posted by CKL @ 06:28 PM PST

From the March 24th Long John Silver's press release:

NASA's March 23 announcement of evidence of the past presence of "a body of gently flowing saltwater" on Mars is big news for America, and giant news for seafood fans... To celebrate the success of NASA's Mars Rover project, the company is going to give America free Giant Shrimp on Monday, May 10.
Now, I live in Mountain View, California. The nearest Long John Silver's is in Watsonville, a good 36 miles away. It might as well be (wait for it) on Mars. And even if it were across the street, it wouldn't be worth my time to stand in line during business hours on a weekday for a single freakin' shrimp. It's free advertising for them, since local news loves this kind of stupidity, but let's be honest: they're not really "giving America" anything.

I'm also dubious of the claim that "Long John Silver's, Inc. was founded in 1969 in response to growing consumer demand for quick-service seafood [my emphasis -CKL]." Maybe I'm just atypical, but how often does anybody crave "quick-service seafood"? "Dammit, Mabel, I just cain't wait fer those shrimp t' finish defrostin'! We gots ta go t' Long John Silver's RAIGHT NOW!" I mean, there isn't even one of these things within 15 miles of San Francisco-- but maybe that's because you can get better seafood in any back alley in the city, without going to some greasy fast food joint. Perhaps it's different in the Midwest, far from the salty seascapes of our coastal paradise.

Anyway, it's too bad the estate of Robert Louis Stevenson isn't being compensated for the use of the name. I'm pretty sure Treasure Island was in the public domain well before 1969.

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