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07/01/2003 Archived Entry: "Hello, you're an idiot"
Posted by CKL @ 11:33 PM PST

I was all ready to get behind the Washington Post review of the new animated feature Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas after seeing the sub-heading "DreamWorks Tale Is More Hollywood Than Arabia." I'd already seen trailers, and clips on Ebert & Roeper, which corroborated just what Stephen Hunter gripes about in the first few paragraphs of his review:

"Sinbad"...has nothing whatsoever to do with Arabic culture or any culture. The story has been cut loose from its historical moorings and transpires in a world that never was... Chalk it up to a spirit of planetary ecumenism.
I, too, often find the blandness of most pop culture irksome, especially when it's been made "kid-friendly" by removing all content which might be offensive to yuppie parents. There are good reasons other people might say things you don't like. Not everybody agrees with you. The world is unfair. Deal with it.

Anyway, I was with the guy until he went off the deep end:

[Sinbad] is haunted by a god not called Allah or Buddha or God but, improbably, Eris. Eris? Yeah, and she's voiced by Michelle Pfeiffer -- you know, of the Valley Pfeiffers. Eris is the Goddess of Chaos. Why would there be a Goddess of Chaos? I have no idea...What religion was that again?
It was the religion of the ancient Greeks, you fucking moron. Ever heard of a pantheon? Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Apollo, Aphrodite, Ares-- is any of this ringing a bell, or did you sleep through all of high school?

Complain about the nonsensical mishmash of cultures if you want, but at least have some goddamned facts at your command. I mean, he mentions "Greek goddesses" in an earlier paragraph. Did a bunch of monkeys ghost-write this review for him? If you can't even be bothered to do a simple Google search, I have no respect for you and no more time to waste on your uninformed rantings.

I can't believe this clown actually won a Pulitzer back in April. There ain't no justice.

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